reminiscence of high school mia english lisan....

ingat tak last time when in form 5 you kena do lisan secara berkumpulan ?? i dowanna use the english term for 'lisan', fearing that you all might think otherwise.... well anyway... for english, everyone's supposed to be in groups of four and present, but me and voo wanted to pair up and present a sequal to out form 4 mia english mia lisan..... we were in different classes then.... his presentation in form 4 was "the chair", while i did "the table".... below is the rough script of our sequal....

Voo: Good morning, my friend. I see that you’re still having trouble with the boss.

Paul: Yeah, ms. Pillay [Ms.Pillay's our school counsellor] is a real pain in the neck. She’s so fussy about every thing.

Voo: Single, middle-aged women are usually like that. Too bad she can’t be more like Ms.

Chan [Ms. Chan's our english teacher... =D]. Could you please pass me the chair Paul? I need to put this back on the top shelf.

Paul: Why the chair? Why not use a table.

Voo: That is because it is more practical to use a chair, that’s why. I’m sure that you do not write standing up, right?

Paul: Of course I don’t. I use a smaller table to sit on. But you can’t write on a chair
because the seat is either uneven or has holes in it to cool your hiney.

Voo: That’s nothing. The chair should be superior because it came first.

Paul: Prove it. I say that the table came first

Voo: Rubbish. Caveman were too stupid to invent a table to write on.

Paul: Neither were they smart enough to invent a chair.

Voo: But they took a rock and made it a chair. And that’s not all. My chair doubles as an
authentic piece of art. Look how stunning and beautiful this room is with my chair.

Paul: Come on, every body knows that my table here, looks better.

Voo: Well mine is better times infinity.

Paul: Alright, but mine is the best.

(momentary silence)

Voo: I can sit on my chair to rest my aching back and my legs.

Paul: I can form a bed with my table and rest my whole body

Voo: Well, my chair is made of plastic which makes it light and durable not to mention cheap.

Paul: Mine is made of wood which makes it hard to break and can be used as firewood in
times of winter emergencies.

Voo: ‘ Oh Phish tosh’, my chair can be used for self defense. Did you know that the metal
folding chairs are a weapon of choice among shaolin monks? I can also exercise on my chair, see? (nerdish exercise)

Paul: Stop it! You’re humiliating me on purpose. The table is obviously superior to the
chair because it has ample storage space. My table has a desk and a drawer but your
chair has none.

Voo: Stop discriminating my chair! It is not as stupid as Jun Wei!

Paul: Lies! All lies! Your accusations are as false as Jun Wei’s intelligence. By the way, I
would never do that because Jun Wei is far too stupid to compare to that chair.

Voo: My chair can make shorter people look tall. (Voo went to the door) Hey Cavan!
Would you please step into Jack’s office with Jun Wei for a moment?

(Cavan): Sure, coming.

Voo: Cavan, get on my chair while Jun Wei, you get on Paul’s table. (After they did as told) See? My chair is far more superior because Cavan is now taller than Jun Wei.

(Cavan): But I’m always taller and smarter than him.

Voo: Shut up!

Paul: Look, this is getting us no where. We need a way to solve this.

Voo: You’re right. We’ll settle this peacefully on three. One, two, three! [we buat the sissors paper stone thing]

Paul: No, no, no. That’s not what I meant. By the way, you lost. I mean we should call it truce and work together as a team.

Voo: Alright. I accept your peace pact. Maybe…, we can stack the chair on the table so
that I can reach higher up.

Paul: Yes we could. Now we’re getting somewhere. I’ll get the forklift to help.

Voo: Why not just use the crates ?

Paul: Forklift.

Voo: Crates.

we got 2 marks short of the maximum 50. well the fun didn't just stop here... then came the day the external examiner came... well, normal procedure... the schools were to get three groups to represent the three different tahap.. a weak, moderate and a good group.. my teacher who happened to be the panitia head for the language department had already a group form my class to be the good group and another teacher had prepared a weak group...

then came a mix up, the teachers didn't have a moderate group... so in desperation, my teacher asked to present our lisan.... as the moderate group... why leh ? cuz she thinks ours is funny and wants to be like... umm.. you know... something like an interval... a relief thing.... i asked her, "so we're like clowns lah hor ?" and she said, "yeah, exacactly"......

we did on one condition, if the external examiner gave us lower marks, we'd stick with the 48/50 marks that we initially had... well we made a few changes, like substituting jun wei and cavan, who were both the shortest and tallest in the class.... and making an insult to one of our teahcers that both our teacher and the external examiner know.... mr. ian william david howell.....

the external examiner then commented taht our presentation was very good.... *beams proudly*.... she summore say chung ling mia teachers put the school debaters in their good group.... and it's not as good as ours.. *beams even proudly*... she say wan har.. not me... =P

anyway.... our good group,which opresented a very boring discussion on dunno wat..... got the average marks of around 40 something.. and me and voo.... WE GOT 49 !!! my teacher came and told us that she herself couldn't believe it either..... lalalala... dang... i pity those guys lah... they have to stick to the marks gven to them..... so chek ark....

dunno... anyway... cherio for now yaw....